Wednesday 5 January 2011

The Aberdeengrad Factory

Greetings comrades! For those wondering what may have happened to the TARDIS Venture, do not despair! Our capitalist cousins have simply suffered some unexpected setbacks at the hands of the upper-class capitalistic pig-dog that is David Cameron and his military spending cuts. In response a subdivision, which fully supports the plight of the workers (as of said spending cuts), has been created at Aberdeengrad! At present the TARDIS is in transportation to a new construction site, but it turned out to be of more difficulty than it would initially appear, as I believe the western phrasing goes. In layman - or, should I say, the superior lower-classes who will ultimately overthrow the exploitative elitists - terms, there is some difficulty in transporting objects that are of questionable interior mass.

In the meantime, the workers, under the guidance of Great Leader Phil (no relation to Master Shipwright Phil), has begun work on a simpler project. We say simple, for the project is none other than a Soviet T-34/76 tank! While slightly inferior to the later T-34/85 version, it is still a most gorgeous vehicle, and it is no exaggeration to call it the most favourite of tanks that Great Leader Phil has ever seen. Indeed, it has been recorded that it his main reason to visit the Imperial War Museum in London was to see the T-34 there.

Quite possibly the best general tank of the Second World War, only the well-honed techniques of the German Army let it down on the Eastern Front, and several of it's features going on to inspire future tank designs in the war, it would be rightly described as a thing of beauty if not for the fact it was designed to blow people up.



The unfinished model. While we applaud Revell for their devotion to the T-34 model, we must protest the filthy capitalistic instruction methods. In particular was the painting instructions - only some of the pieces were labelled as having to be painted, while the bulk was left to the SHOCK final pages of the manual. Clearly this is representative of western ways - leave things half-finished before NUKING your opponent with SHOCK AND AWE at the last stage. Not only that, but only half of the recommended paint colours were mentioned on the box, the rest we had to discover upon opening. We would have bought them, Revell...er, I mean we would have organised a Five-Minute-Plan to decide which paints were needed and remove the rest on the recommendation of our chief Commisar officer.



A more completed model, fully painted except for the treads. While the manual offers no suggestions on how to colour these, we are more forward-thinking here in the Motherland, after all it's what got us into space first. Forward-thinking, not painting things.



For those interested, the model is 1:76 scale which, comparatively speaking, makes it a tiny bit bigger when compared to our workers in the picture above.

For those not interested, or for those who may suggest the pictures are being taken in soft lighting without the flash to disguise the poor quality of my first model-painting attempt, armed helpers shall arrive soon to escort you to the train station. There you shall be taken to the most underdeveloped, horrific region of our motherland for re-eduction. No not Siberia...Dundee.

Ah, comrades, we have received a new project. By an amazing coincidence it's another of my favourite tanks and, appropriately, one forced into a role more suited to countering the T-34...

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